My books can be purchased as e-books for only $1.99. If interested, just click here: Books.
Match Play is a golf/suspense novel. Dust of Autumn is a bloody one set in upstate New York. Prairie View is set in South Dakota, with a final scene atop Rattlesnake Butte. Life is the Arbor is a children's book about Rollie Rabbit and his friends (on about a fourth grade level). The Black Widow involves an elaborate extortion scheme. Doggy-Dog World is my memoir. And ES3 is a description of my method for examining English sentence structure.
In case anyone is interested in any of my past posts, you can find an archive list at the bottom of this page.
Thursday, August 29
Cats & Jokes
And how about some cute jokes that friends sent me.
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
" Marion ... Marion "
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again."
"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
"No . . . I'm a rabbit in Arizona.”
* * * * * * * * * *
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: “I went by your gramma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck-naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!”
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: “I got it on with your gramma and she is good, the best I ever had!”
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, “I'll tell you something else, boy, your gramma liked it!”
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him
square in the eyes and says, “Grampa, go home!”
* * * * * * * * * *
Then there’s the tale of the golfer who’s been slicing off the tee at every hole. He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy, “Can you see any obvious problems ?”
The caddy tells him, “There's a piece of crap on the end of your club.”
The golfer picks up his club and cleans the club face.
The caddy, as diplomatically as possible, tells him, “No sir, it’s at the other end.”
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