Darwin's Theory

I read in the news that, according to a recent Harris poll, only 43% of teens and 47% of adults believe in Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. Wow! In an age of enlightenment (supposedly) less than half the people polled believe in evolution. Granted, 33% of teens and 25% of adults said they weren’t sure. But that still leaves a whopping one out of four who believes in a creationist explanation for the origin of man and the universe. Wow! I don’t mean to step on any Bible belters’ toes, but that number astounds me. I didn’t think we had that many stupid people in this country. Well, since I’ve now insulted a quarter of our population, I may as well go all the way. Most of that 25% reside in either Tennessee or Alabama. We’re on the brink of discovering life forms on other planets, or at least the probability of other life forms in the universe, and we still have that many people who regard the Bible as literal truth? Wow!

Time to lighten the mood. Here’s one of the funniest cat jokes I’ve ever seen.

An elderly lady called the vet to advise him she had a sick cat. “His eyes are dull and he’s listless, just mopes and sulks all day and he won’t eat,” she said.

“I see,” said the vet. “You’d better give it a cup of castor oil and I’ll be out about three this afternoon to have a look at it. You may have trouble giving that castor oil. With your left hand, force its mouth open and pour the castor oil with your right.”

The old lady had quite a struggle with the cat but her efforts were highly successful.

At three that afternoon the vet knocked on the door and asked, “How’s that sick calf of yours?”

“Calf? Why, I have no calf. I called about my sick cat.”

“Cat? Did you give it that cup of castor oil? We’ve got to do something about this mighty quick or you’re going to lose a good cat! Where is the animal now?”

“I don’t know,” she responded. “Last time I saw him he was taking out across the cornfield with nine other cats.”

“What in the world was he doing with nine other cats?” asked the vet.

“I don’t know for sure,” she said, “but I think he has formed an organization. He had three of them digging holes, three of them covering up, and the other three were out looking for new locations.”

And while I’m at it, how about a few clever sayings.
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.
A river is like intelligence: The deeper it is, the less sound it makes.
Let’s eat Grandma. Let’s eat, Grandma. Commas save lives.
Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.