A few random thoughts for you to ponder:
(On the style of some bad writers) I think of his writing as Milk Dud prose—soft and sticky and finger-messy, and it gives you a bellyache after just one box.
(On contemplating oneself in a mirror) The mirror has a way of hiding the truth, but I think I bring to it a fairly objective eye. Now and then I catch a glimpse of my father, but I don’t see myself as an old man.
(On getting old) Every now and then I get this wave of depression at the thought of my own mortality. It’s never an intellectual thing, something to ponder. One moment I’ll be thinking about what I’m doing and then suddenly it overwhelms me and I feel this rush of emotion about what it will actually mean when I die. This long (all too short) practical joke will be over and what will it mean, what will my existence have meant? Then the feeling goes away for several months, only to pop up again when I’m not paying attention.
(On male stupidity) It’s hard to find many men of his caliber—about a .22 small bore. Firing shorts instead of longs, or maybe even dum-dums.
(On anyone’s stupidity) Isn’t it sad that some people can turn on tv and not find a single program that insults their intelligence?
(On the difference between involvement and commitment) In Jonathan Kellerman’s book Self-Defense, Milo says to Alex, “Involved but not committed—know the difference? In a ham-and-egg breakfast, the chicken’s involved, but the pig is committed.”
(On taking a difficult exam) The oral comprehensive exam might be called a situation in which the testers slowly squeeze the testees.
(On paternity) You can’t feel paternal over every passing seed.
(On verbosity) You should give that nasty cut under your nose a chance to heal.
(On sensitivity) The kinds of things that make people cry say a lot about their sensitivity.
(On intelligence) The kinds of things that make people laugh say a lot about their intelligence.
(On word twisters) Misogyny almost always obviates progeny.