My books can be purchased as e-books for only $1.99. If interested, just click here: Books.
Match Play is a golf/suspense novel. Dust of Autumn is a bloody one set in upstate New York. Prairie View is set in South Dakota, with a final scene atop Rattlesnake Butte. Life in the Arbor is a children's book about Rollie Rabbit and his friends (on about a fourth grade level). The Black Widow involves an elaborate extortion scheme. Doggy-Dog World is my memoir. And ES3 is a description of my method for examining English sentence structure.
In case anyone is interested in any of my past posts, an archive list can be found at the bottom of this page.
My newest novel, Happy Valley, can be found here.
Monday, October 5
About a decade ago every now and then I’d get this wave of depression at the thought of my own mortality. It was never an intellectual thing, something to ponder. One moment I’d be thinking about what I was doing that day and then suddenly thoughts of my demise would overwhelm me and I’d feel this rush of emotion about what it actually will mean when I die. This long (all too short) practical joke will be over and what will my existence have meant? Then the feeling would go away for several months only to pop up again when I wasn’t paying attention.
I’m still a non-churchgoer and have been for most of my life, so church faith doesn’t help me in my bouts of depression. I’m too much an outsider and disbeliever to feel comfortable in churches of any order. I envision Christ on the cross and Eve offering Adam that expensive apple. I find both to be powerful images, but I don’t find much about either that I believe. I guess my skepticism must be traced back to my mother’s half-hearted Episcopalianism and my own questioning of formal Christian religious beliefs. I can relate to Adam’s preference for reading, but I can also understand why he finally put down his book and took that fateful bite.
Figuring I have five years left, that leaves me slightly more than 1800 days. Not that I plan on dying at eighty-seven, but the quality of life may not be too high beyond that time. So 1800 days may sound like a lot right now, but I know how fast they can be spent, like gold coins in profligate hands.
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- ► 2010 (120)