Words & Catch-22

          I stumbled onto another example of the difficulty of some English vocabulary, people mis-hearing or misunderstanding words very close in sound but quite different in meaning, the pair “squash” and “quash,” for example. I heard this latest example on a recent Stephen Colbert show when he and a guest were discussing one of one of Donald Trump’s fits of pique over some Democrat’s insult. Colbert said that Trump was in “high dungeon” over what was said of him. Stephen’s ear had apparently always heard “high dungeon” when it should have been “high dudgeon.” “Dudgeon” refers to the handle of a knife or dagger, suggesting an anger leading to a knife thrust. Granted, in Trump’s case, “high dungeon” may be more appropriate. We should throw him in followed by the key.

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          I’m happy to see that Joseph Heller’s Catch-22 is being remade on Hulu, a 6-episode retelling of Yossarian’s fight with the authorities who are trying to kill him. This was always one of my favorite novels, comically dark in its anti-war sentiments, showing how man and man’s institutions can give us conflicting explanations for absurd decisions. In Yossarian’s case, when he tried to get a medical leave to be sent home from flying bombing runs in WWII, claiming that he was insane, the psychologist said that only a sane person would want to be sent home; therefore, he must be sane and couldn’t be sent home. Classic catch-22.

And a week ago I encountered my own catch-22 when I tried to renew my auto registration. Although it may not entirely qualify as a catch-22, it was certainly like a foolish runaround by the folks at the DMV and the Kia dealership.

This year I needed an emissions test done before I could get my annual auto registration. So, off I went to the testing place where I was told that my car couldn’t be tested until the computer system was reset. The instructions about doing this reset involved either simply driving the car in a normal fashion or by having a mechanic reset it. Not knowing exactly what was meant by “normal fashion,” I called my Kia dealer to have them do it. They told me they couldn’t do it, that the car would reset itself by just driving it. I asked them how long I would have to drive it. They said 5 to 10 days; I said that was way too long. So I called the Kia Company help line to see if they could tell me some other way to get it reset. I was told I should contact my dealership. See, a run-run-runaround. The Kia dealer explained again that they couldn’t do it, that I just had to drive it for three or four days, maybe take a trip on a highway. So my wife and I took a scenic hour’s drive, came back to the emissions testing place, and the car passed. It had, indeed, reset itself. Man, talk about AI having us by the short hairs. And the future seems to indicate that computers, large and tiny, will become more and more in control of our lives.