To Squizzle or Not to Squizzle

Squizzle. For whatever reason the mind does such bouncing around on the edge of sleep, this word popped into my head around 3:00 a.m. a few nights ago. Squizzle. The word exists only in my family’s jargon dating back to my childhood and probably back to the childhood of my older sister and brothers. There is no such word according to Webster. It’s a verb, to squizzle, and means the same as to urinate or, in the vulgar, to piss. The Roman aristocracy said “urinare” and the hoi polloi said “pissiare.” English speakers tend to devise all kinds of euphemisms for various bodily functions and body parts. Instead of urinate, we have pee, peepee, go potty, go toi toi, tinkle, go to the bathroom (but not to bathe), go to the restroom (but not to rest), go to the washroom or lavatory (but to wash only after we’ve tinkled), and, of course, piss (an echoic derivation from the sound our tinkling creates). Then there are all the slang terms (not all euphemisms) for “defecate”: shit, crap, dump, poo, poopoo (parallel to pee pee), and move our bowels. Body parts. For mammary glands we have boobs, tits, jugs, melons. For a penis we have cock, dick, pecker, hose. The socially acceptable “penis,” from Latin, is just so . . . tiny, whereas the vulgar “cock,” from Anglo Saxon, is large and hefty. Even the voice elevates when one says “penis,” and goes down an octave when one says “cock!” (with an exclamatory mark suggesting that large, Anglo Saxon organ). Testicles are tiny, gonads a bit larger, but balls are grapefruits. And now back to the ladies, who have vaginas, also known as cunt, snatch, pussy, bush, poontang. All such flattering terms. And now I’m back to squizzle. I’ve had enough wine that I think I need to go do that.