The Imitation Game & Tiger

I don’t know what I was expecting from The Imitation Game, but whatever it was didn’t happen. I knew from the previews almost entirely what it was about—World War II and the creation of a thinking machine in an attempt to break the Germans’ cryptic Enigma machine. And I’d heard all the Oscar buzz it was getting for both film as well as Oscar-worthy performances of Benedict Cumberbatch and Keira Knightley. I was still wondering what I’d seen when we left the theatre. I wasn’t very impressed by either the story or the acting. I especially didn’t care for the stock images of WWII warfare, the black and white German planes dropping stock image bombs on stock image bombed-out London, the predictable 40’s hairstyles and oh so red lips and frumpy hats and dresses, the awkward and out-of-time dancing of the code-breakers.

I wouldn’t have believed it was possible to make Keira Knightley unattractive, but they did. Oh, Pride and Prejudice Keira, where art thou? And Benedict Cumberbatch did an admirable Alan Turing, with reddened eyes and stuttered responses to his superiors’ questions, but I’m still not fond of him as an actor. In fact, I hated him in Osage County. I also found confusing the constant shifting from early Turing to Enigma Turing to 1951 Turing. Granted, it was necessary to indicate his sexual orientation and how little back then we understood what was considered aberrant sexual behavior. So, what would I rate this movie? About three stars out of five.

And how would I rate Tiger’s ignominious return to the Waste Management Open here in Arizona? A negative two stars out of five (Yeah, that’s right, two steps below zero). How can any golfer as magical as he is (was) look so awfully awful? He can’t drive the ball straight, or hit any greens in regulation, or make any chips or pitches any better than I can. He shot an 82 on Saturday and wound up in last place in a field of 132. And he set new records for ugly, a 44 on the back nine (worst 9-hole score ever) and a +11 for the round (worst 18-hole score ever). Tiger, Tiger, how could you look so bad? Will you look this bad next week at Torrey Pines? All the Tiger-haters must be ecstatic hoping for a repeat performance next week. Oh, please, Tiger, make them eat their ecstasy.