Planes, Trains, & Buses

On Friday, I’m flying to Minnesota for a birthday fest for my sister-in-law, who is going to be 87. How in the world did we all get so old so fast? Whooosh, goes the time train. I’ll be in Minneapolis for two days, then drive to Wisconsin to see several other relatives. Then fly back on Wednesday.

I’m flying because I can no longer suffer through long-distance driving—too expensive, too draining on my old bones. The drive from Minnesota to Wisconsin doesn’t count since it’s not really a long distance. But then there’s flying, which is no longer any fun, with all the hassle of checking in and getting seated in ever-smaller seats, almost always seated next to or in between really fat people. I haven’t yet figured out exactly how fat one needs to be before one has to buy two seats. But morbid obesity is another topic best saved for later. I’ll be traveling light enough that I won’t need to check a bag, just a small carryon in the overhead. And I’ll have my IPod for music and my IPad for watching episodes of Justified and a big bag of trail mix for munching since we're no longer given any munchies by the airline. One ear on my IPod, One eye on my IPad, and the other eye watching for the threat that our pilot may be a nutcase who wants to take us with him when he decides to kill himself. Or simply fly off the grid and put us down in some remote portion of the Pacific. In the old days of Friendly Skies that never used to be a consideration. And train travel is no longer an option, at least not in this part of the country, and our railway infrastructure is getting so bad we see too many examples of derailments and horrific crashes. Loco-motion, indeed.

Buses? I don’t think so. Crowded, time-consuming, dirty. That leaves me with flying. On the good side, though, this may be my last trip to anywhere by any means of transport. I’d rather just stay here in the Valley and let visitors come to me instead of me to them.