Donald Trump & Tiger Woods

Mondrian's "The Thinker"

Almost every time I open a newspaper lately, there are three or four articles talking about The Donald, talking about how the GOP would rather he just shut up, not run, disappear. But the Trumpster doesn’t do any of that—shut up, not run, or disappear. Like the bad penny, he just keeps showing up. According to the Oxford English Dictionary regarding bad pennies, Donald Trump represents “the predictable, and often unwanted, return of a disreputable or prodigal person after some absence.” Well, he hasn’t really been absent from the news because he thrives on news about himself, but he also hasn’t been in the news as much as he is lately. And, oh, how the Republican Party wishes he would just go back to his golf courses and beauty pageants and The Apprentice and leave the politicking to the other candidates. In a negative way, he’s just like Tiger Woods: no matter what either of them does, the public wants to read about it. Or, in Tiger’s case, watch him do it. The Trump haters want to read about how The Donald has again put his foot in his mouth, like when he questioned Barack Obama’s citizenship or when he got in a fight with Bill Maher about his ancestry. And Tiger haters want to read about his fall from grace, watch him make a fool out of himself on the golf course, witness Tiger’s feet of clay. The Tiger lovers want to see if maybe this week, just maybe, he can get back to his winning ways. Tiger lovers want to see his every swing, not matter how he or anyone else in the tournament is doing. And tomorrow we’ll be waiting with bated breath to see if he can recreate the magic that allowed him to win two Opens at the Old Course, St. Andrews.