Sexual Harassment Part III

            I want to take another look at this question of harassment that’s now so

prominent in the news. Last season on Madam Secretary, Elizabeth (Téa Leoni) went to the Philippines to meet with the madman president, who was known for his misogyny and his too frequently inappropriate behavior. When she turned her back on him for a moment, he grabbed her buttocks with both hands. She whirled and decked him with a wonderful right to the nose, breaking it and blackening both eyes. It was a perfect statement for these imperfect times.

             This current upsurge in women coming forward with complaints about sexual misbehavior by male politicians and entertainers is a healthy sign that we may actually be approaching true gender equality. It certainly will make all men more cautious in their relations with women. They may not yet believe in that equality but they’ll certainly respect it. Now, ladies, I must point out what I believe is a major mental difference between men and women. Many men (maybe even most) wouldn’t consider it as harassment for a woman to pat him on the ass as he passes by or stroke his leg at a dinner engagement or even proposition him. He’d consider the ass pat as a compliment, the leg rub as enticingly interesting, and the proposition as acceptable. What offends most women doesn’t offend most men. Men are such pigs. I don’t think most men are misogynists; I think they’re philogynists who would welcome any come-ons from almost any (but not all) women. Oink! Oink!

             I‘m happy to say that I’m not one of them. I love women just as I love my fellow man, but I wouldn’t welcome any sexual advances from just any woman. She’d have to be someone I already love, not just anyone for whom I might lust. I seem to be digging an ever deeper semantic hole for myself. Help! These are such confusing times. May we soon get to that place where we love all people, regardless of gender, race, or religion. All I ask is that we not lose hugs. I love hugs. I believe in the efficacy of hugs that heal, not hugs that harass. So, men, today I’d like for every one of you to give your wife, your children, your friends, even your enemies a big hug and tell them how much they mean to you. Hugs are good; gropes are bad.