Lawrence Block & Life Lessons

          What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? Anybody can mash potatoes.

            I was looking for something to read in one of my bookcases and pulled out a weighty Enough Rope, a collection of stories by Lawrence Block. By “weighty” I don’t mean deeply meaningful or with heavy insight. I mean the sucker must weigh about ten pounds. Lawrence Block is one of my favorite authors, especially in the Matt Scudder series, but he, like Stephen King, is a driven spinner of tales, a weaver of word webs, and he just keeps churning out novel after novel, story after story. Tucked in the book was a slip of paper that I must have placed there several years ago, with tiny notes to myself referring to interesting things in one of the Scudders, one of which was the joke at the top of this page—short, funny, a little dark, just like Matt Scudder or Keller the hitman. I’m now reading all the stories about Keller, who, like Scudder, is efficient, plodding, stoic, and somewhat humorless despite the joke at the top. Keller is such an interesting character, a sensitive, likeable fellow who collects rare stamps when he’s not on one of his jobs doing a snuff for the mob. After the stories in Enough Rope, I may have to go back and reread all the novels about Keller. I may have enough rope, but I may not have enough time for all the things I want to read.

* * *

I just switched our cable provider from Direct TV to Dish and our phone and internet service from Century Link to Cox. Why did I do that? I was unhappy with Direct because they didn’t have a connection to Netflix and Dish did. I wanted to watch Netflix movies and series on my television instead of just on computer and IPad. And the price, at least for two years, was considerably less than what I was paying. I didn’t realize that Dish had to take down the Direct TV dish and replace it with theirs. I called Direct to see what I was supposed to do with their dish, which was now lying dead on its side up against the house. “We don’t want it back,” I was told. “It’s yours, so you can do anything you want.” So, I can either leave it where it lies or I can hope our garbage service will take it. What a waste. And this morning the service man from Cox showed up. I had no idea the switchover was going to be so complicated. He was here for nearly three hours. He had to run a new cable from the phone box to the house. I scratch my head. Why couldn’t Cox have used the same line we’d had forever? I thought this would be a ten-minute job of switching my old modem to the new and the phone switch handled seamlessly at the Cox office. Wrong, by almost three hours.

Why do we learn life’s lessons only after it’s too late and not before? At my age, you’d think I’d already learned all the lessons I’d ever need. Not so. And with the speed of technical advances, I’ve probably still got a lot to learn.

Mid-Terms

Just over a week to go before the mid-terms. Hurray! Just over a week to see an end to the ubiquitous tv and postal political smears. Hurray! I and a lot of others can’t wait.

We are reminded by the media that this will probably be a mid-term unlike any before. Why? Because the man in the Oval Office has sparked so much interest and anger that even those who seldom if ever go to the polls will go this time. Will it be that these previous non-voters are now knowledgeable about the people running and the issues involved? No. It will be because Donald Trump has brought them out like lemmings rushing to the sea. Some may vote for Republicans because they still believe he’s the answer to our nation’s ills, but far more will be voting against Republicans because of him. If in 2016 Trump won because so many voters were voting against Hillary Clinton and not necessarily for Trump, there will be an equal or greater number in 2018 voting against Trump and the Republican Party and men running against women. This will be the backlash against Trump’s egomania and fearmongering.

I envision a record voter turnout in this 2018 mid-terms. More than ever before, women, young people, Latinos, African-Americans, and LGBTers will be voting. I see many more women, African-Americans, and Latinos winning. And the Democrats will regain control of both the House and the Senate. Then we’ll see what they do with it. Change our nation’s direction under Trump? Or will it be more of the same old political inaction with empty promises and hands stuck firmly under buttocks?

Titanic, the Musical

A few nights ago we went to the Arizona Broadway Theatre to see Titanic, the Musical. The set design was interesting, as usual, the cast was huge, all with very good voices, and the number of costumes they had to create for this show was mind-boggling. I’d guess they needed at least fifty, most of which would have been from scratch. Or maybe that should be “from stitch.” Was all that enough for me to think it was a great show? Not even close. Of all the musicals we’ve seen at ABT over their fourteen seasons, this one ranks a bit below deck. The music and voices were impressive, especially when all twenty-five were on stage together belting out one of the big numbers, but what they were singing was not. Talk about a forgettable score. It makes me wonder why this show won a Tony for best new musical in 1997.

The set: a semi-circular back wall that looked like the inner hull of a cruise liner with three sets of metal stairs leading up to a railed corridor to suites on the upper decks, the stage floor representing the below decks with circular windows right and left representing portholes when blue lighted and open furnace doors for coal when red lighted. About halfway through the show, when the Titanic struck the iceberg, a zigzag crack in the back wall appeared and grew wider as the show went on.

The costumes: 1912 apparel, gowns for the upper-deckers, common wear for the below-deckers, blue uniforms for three of the ship’s officers, uniforms for the busboy and maid, and all recreated also in white to represent those who died, all together, it would be at least fifty costumes.

The pit band, always very good with their usual eight, expanded to ten (two extra strings) for this show, and they sounded as good as any pit band here or on Broadway could sound.

The whole thing was sort of a downer simply because there were no spoiler alerts needed since everyone knows how this turned out. The show sort of sank just like the ship itself. About the only thing that might have spiced it up a bit would be seeing the young Leo and Kate embracing at the bow. But no Leo, no Kate. And not a very good review. About two stars out of five for me.

Mid-terms, Mega Millions, & AI

A quick comment or two about the mid-terms. Today, October 24, has been designated as Unity Day. How ironic that these last two years have been some of the most un-unifying years in American History. It may not be up to the division prior to and during and after the Civil War, but it’s probably as divisive as the years with FDR. And this election will be more about us versus them than we’ve seen in at least the last fifty years. So, here again, I’d like to post this sign at every voting station: Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than originally expected, the polling facilities may not be able to handle the load all at once.  Therefore, Democrats are requested to vote on Tuesday, November 6, and Republicans on Wednesday, Nov. 7. Please pass this message along and help us make sure no one gets left out.

            The Mega Millions jackpot was won yesterday by one unnamed person in South Carolina, with the option to take it all or space it out over thirty years. What difference could it possibly make? The pot was 1.54 billion; the “take it all” would be about $880 million after Uncle Sam takes his cut. What can one person do with that much money? What do those in the 1% do with all their money? I guess they just sit back and watch it grow. To what end, I say? This lucky South Carolinian (Or should that be “unlucky?”) won’t know what to do with it. Past winners of huge jackpots have told how unhappy they were with their newfound wealth. Some have even killed themselves. Just imagine how many relatives, friends, strangers would bug the winner for some of the money. “Ah, come on, Jake, just a million,” they whine. “You won’t even know it’s gone.” So Jake and family pack up and move to a new location, like someone in the witness protection program. Then what do they do? Buy stuff they only dreamed about in their average past? Like huge luxury boats, really expensive sports cars, an entire South Pacific island, mansions along the coast or maybe a castle in Spain? The island might not be a bad idea when the hoards with open hands descend on them. And they’d probably need to buy a jet to get them there without too many people knowing where they were going. Personally, I think I’d rather be one of those who had the first five numbers and won a million. I think I could figure out what to do with a million but not almost 900 of them.

            Another item I saw recently, that scientists are now using artificial intelligence to create paintings. Which then leads to that old question: What exactly is great art? Is it in the imagination of the artist or in his manual skills in creating that art? Why are Picasso, Van Gogh, or Rembrandt greater than other artists? Is the greatness in the creator or in the eye of the beholder? I remember from quite a few years ago when someone passed off canvases done by a monkey and a bunch of people, supposedly those who knew great art when the saw it, proclaimed it the work of genius. Hmmm. And if AI paintings, then why not AI music, both popular and classical? The same questions arise: Is it art or isn’t it? Does it compete with Bach or Mozart or doesn’t it? Can AI learn empathy to an extent that listeners will be moved to tears? Can AI be taught to feel emotion? And, finally, can AI write the great American novel just as so many striving authors have tried to do in the past? Hmmm. It would require that AI be infused with all the experiences of all of man from beginning to end in order to create a fictional world that was believable. Can AI be made creative enough to invent things, like that better mousetrap Emerson told us about? I'm reasonably sure new AI inventions are a done deal. In an essay by Stephen Hawking just before he died, he warned that one of the greatest dangers to mankind and the world will be artificial intelligence. Just as in Asimov’s I,Robot, can AI have a built-in safety valve that requires it to do no harm to humans?I hope so. But, wow! Are we in for an exciting but frightening next ten or twenty years.

Scams, Mid-terms, & Mega Millions

In this age of scams and identity thefts, there are some things you might do to discourage such scammers and thieves. Granted, these first three suggestions relate to writing checks, something most of us no longer do, but it may be useful for some of us seniors who still pay with checks.

The next time you order checks, omit your first name and have only your initials and last name put on them. If someone takes your check book they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name but your bank will know how you sign your checks.

When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.

Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks, you can add it if it is necessary.

In case your wallet is ever lost or stolen, make copies (front and back) of your driver’s license, credit cards, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel.

File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where it was stolen, this proves to credit providers you were diligent, and is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).

Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.

Equifax: 1-800-525-6285

Experian: (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742

Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289

Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271

          The 2018 Mid-Terms will tell us a lot about where we are as a nation and member of the United Nations and where we may be going. Will we actually see a much greater voter turnout with young activists and women who in the past didn’t vote because they felt overlooked? Will all the young people voting for the first time realize the power of their vote and go to the polls, or will they forget what they were so actively protesting half a year ago? Will the MeToo Movement continue its fight for sexual equality or will it retreat quietly in the face of all the added male pressure from men like Donald Trump and his ilk? Will the Democrats regain the majority in the House of Representatives, maybe even the Senate, or will it all remain the same? Two more weeks and we’ll have the answers.

The Mega Million lottery is now up to 1.6 billion, and if no one has the correct numbers in the next day or two, it will probably soar over two billion. I guess I just don’t understand why anyone except Trump and his fellow billionaires would want or need that much money. Better question: Why would Trump and his fellow billionaires want that much more money? The odds against selecting the winning numbers is around one in 600 million. Those are really stupid odds. That’s like you being mixed in with one tenth of all the humans on the planet and having your name pulled out of that huge hat. Really stupid odds. But then, we seem to be living in a really stupid time.

Sneaky Pete

Think of how few movies have been made about con artists and their cons. Everyone will almost automatically think of The Sting, with old blue eyes Paul Newman and square-jawed Robert Redford and how intricate the con was and how much we viewers enjoyed being stung right along with those being stung in the movie. All right, now multiply the intricacy and the enjoyment by ten with a dessert multiple of five and you get . . . Wait for it! . . . Amazon’s Sneaky Pete, two seasons of ten episodes each with another season and ten episodes next year. I just finished bingeing on seasons one and two and fell in love with the entire cast. They became my family, sort of like the family Pete became part of—the Bernhardts of Bridgeport, Connecticut.

          The Bernhardts aren’t your average family. Each member has secrets, each gets into trouble with one bad guy or another, and each uses a personal con game to get out of trouble. But when you add all the family members to Pete and his family of con artists, the whole thing gets so complicated it’s hard to keep everything straight.

The Bernhardts are in the bail bond business, competing with a much larger and more successful bail bond business and only hanging on by a thread. Gramma Audrey (Margo Martindale) is the matriarch to whom all the others must answer. Grampa Otto (Peter Gerety) has recently had a heart attack but he still puts in his hours at the business. The others: granddaughter Julia (Marin Ireland) does most of the bail bond leg work; grandson Taylor (Shane McRae) is a cop; granddaughter Carly (Libe Barer), Taylor’s sister and Julia’s cousin, is maybe the wisest 16-year-old in all of

Connecticut; daughter Maggie Murphy (Jane Adams) hasn’t been back to Bridgeport for twenty years; and Pete (Ethan Embry), Maggie’s son, has spent the last three years in prison. Then there’s Marius Josipovic (Giovanni Ribisi), Pete’s cellmate who is paroled as the series begins. But there’s a really bad guy named Vince (Bruce Cranston) who wants to get even with Pete for ripping him off for $150,000. So Marius has to find somewhere to hide until he can sort things out. He goes to Bridgeport and pretends to be Pete. The family hasn’t seen Pete for twenty years so they don’t see the pose, and Marius has heard so much from the real Pete over the last three years that he, Sneaky Pete the con man, can sell himself to the family as Pete Murphy.

Now, take all these characters plus about a hundred more, mix them all together, and you get this oh so very complex and delightful series called Sneaky Pete. I can hardly wait for Season Three. Breaking Bad fans will recognize Giovanni Ribisi as Bruce Cranston’s buddy, here together again. If you have Amazon Prime, check it out. If you don’t have Amazon Prime, you should subscribe, for this series and any number of other series made exclusively for Amazon.

Stroke or Heart Attack?

I found this in one of my many files called "Important Papers" and thought it might be a good idea to share it with those who read my blog. You may even want to make a copy of it to stick in your own file of important papers. Or maybe you're a fatalist and would rather just let nature take it course.

Subject: Stroke or Heart Attack?

Is It A Stroke?

This might be a lifesaver if we can remember the three questions!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify.

Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster for the stroke victim. A stroke

       victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the

       symptoms of a stroke.

Any bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

     1)Ask the individual to smile.

     2)Ask him or her to raise both arms.

     3)Ask the person to speak a simple sentence.

* If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately, and describe  

       the symptoms to the dispatcher.

Is It A Heart Attack?

Let's say it's 6.15 P.M. and you're driving home (alone of course), after an unusually

       hard day on the job.

You're really tired, upset, and frustrated.

Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into

      your arm and up into your jaw.

You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home.

Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far.

You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how

     to perform it on yourself.

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE

Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person

     whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10

     seconds left before losing consciousness.

However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very

     vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must

     be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.

A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until

     help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get

     oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the

     blood circulating.

The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm.

In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

Racism

          I’d planned to write a short essay on racism, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how complicated this subject is. Racial or ethnic racism isn’t complicated, but when you add in national or group stereotyping, things get very complicated. Almost every national group that came to this country had to overcome painful stereotyping that centered on physical characteristics or supposed behaviors. Most were labeled with pejorative names: Wops, Bohunks, Micks, Dagos, Frogs, Nips, Chinks, Coons, Spicks, Hymies, Kikes, Sambos, Shylocks, Greaseballs, Jigaboos, Wetbacks, Krauts, and the list goes on and on. We even keep adding to that list with recent slurs like Ragheads. And we dodge the insulting slur word for blacks by saying “the n-word.” How stupid, how silly.

Just look at how nationalities were too often considered. The Italians were all part of the Mafia and couldn’t talk if you had them in handcuffs. The Irish were all drunken brawlers, but all were sweet tenors who sang “Danny Boy.". The Scotch were all cheap tightwads. The Jews were all short-statured usurers or loan sharks. The Germans were all humorless beer guzzlers. The Polish were all stupid. The Mexicans and the other nationalities south of the border were all drug-running criminals. The Chinese all ate Chow Mein and fortune cookies, all looked alike, and all were skilled in Kung Fu and table tennis. The Japanese all ate sushi and rice and drank only Saki, the women were all subservient and docile, and the only sport at which they excelled was sumo wrestling. The French from childhood up all drank wine, ate snails and frogs’ legs, were rude, were all mimes, and all stank. The Indians were all filthy, charmed snakes, worshipped cows, were uneducated, and loved curry in all foods. Native Americans were all lazy, drunken, red-skinned scalpers who ate dog meat and lived in teepees.

As with all stereotypes of all races and cultures, the stereotype allows those who use it to feel superior to those being stereotyped. Ridicule is the weapon of those who fear the ridiculed.

My main topic, however, is the stereotypical image of African Americans. All say “ax” instead of “ask,” all males have an extra tendon in the calf that lets them jump higher than whites, all males favor idiotic hairstyles like corn rows and dreadlocks, all males have longer than normal penises, most blacks physically resemble monkeys or apes, all blacks love watermelon and grits, all love and excel at gospel music, and most are fat, ignorant, and foul smelling. And most black youths love “gangsta” rap and point finger pistols to show how tough and cool they are.

Let’s simplify it. Black athletes in the NFL often go to great lengths to celebrate their successes—long runs, touchdowns, sacks, spectacular receptions—by thumping chests, staring down the camera with arms pumping, and doing prepared elaborate dances and celebrations in the end zones. Granted, some white NFL players do the same, but not to the same extent. What’s my point? That the behavior of the blacks is not some inbred behavior; it’s what they saw as acceptable a generation ahead of them, just as young black and white boys today will see such behavior and will emulate it whenever they get the chance both on and off the field. I wish they wouldn’t. Such behavior only serves to separate races and cultures instead of bringing them together. Such behavior is learned, not genetic. It’s nurture, not nature. I’m not a racist. Are you?

Sexism

I’m living in a retirement community with about 30,000 residents, probably 25,000 of whom drive a car with the other 5,000 now too old to drive. But you know old folks. Even at ninety they’d say they’re perfectly capable of driving even when they’re not. I remember a story I heard almost twenty or thirty years ago about the couple living here who’d go to the grocery store, the husband driving because the wife never learned how to drive. Only, he’s blind as a bat. You guessed it. She would tell him how fast or slow he should go, when to stop, when to turn. And they did this for several years before they had a major fender-bender and the truth came out.

          Let’s just say I see a lot of oddball drivers doing odd ball things here in my retirement community. What I’m about to say may seem sexist, but just hear me out. Almost every time here when I see a car going twenty in a thirty-five mph zone, I just know it’s a woman. Or when a car ahead of me has brake lights flashing on and off for a full hundred yards before a green stop light, afraid it will go yellow any second now, I just know it’s a woman. Or when the car ahead of me at a stop light is waiting to make a right turn .  . . and waiting . . . and waiting, even though there’s no traffic coming from the left, I just know it’s a woman. And I’m almost always right. Does that make me a sexist? Am I suggesting that men are better drivers than women? No. I’m talking about elderly women who were taught to drive by fathers who probably made them feel like they shouldn’t drive as aggressively as their brothers because women aren’t strong enough or athletic enough to drive safely and that they need to drive defensively. It’s the old nature/nurture argument. Are women genetically more fearful than men or are they brought up to feel that way? My generation of women grew up in a strongly patriarchal time, with fathers who, despite loving them, may have belittled them, telling them that they might be too emotional and easily frightened to ever be good drivers. That’s sexism. My view isn’t sexist; it’s environmentalist. Women for the past sixty or seventy years have fought the good fight to give men the lie. Although there is a difference between men and women in size and strength, in every sport where size and strength don’t matter, women can compete with men. In every job where dexterity and mental acuity are needed, women and men are even. In driving skills today, all women and men are equal. In politics today, all women and men are equal. But some women are more equal than others.

          And tomorrow, I’ll tackle racism.

TV Streams

          I just read an article on the internet, the writer of which said that cable tv will soon be a thing of the past, that the major networks will start streaming all their shows onto smartphones, IPads, laptops, and personal computers, all devices that nearly all of us now have, that companies like Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon Prime, and networks like HBO, Cinemax, Starz, and Showtime will all produce their own series, documentaries, and movies and stream them to us for a nominal monthly fee. Hell, they’re all pretty much doing that now. I currently have Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon Prime, and each one has available more really good stuff than I could ever have time to watch even if my days were all 72 hours long, I lived to be 200, and I never needed any sleep.

          Several months ago I watched all of The Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu, more recently Ozark on Netflix, and just finished bingeing on Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime, all three excellent and all three not available on cable tv. That’s such a better way of watching a good series, one episode right after another, and with very few commercials and without the week between episodes or months between seasons. Even now, who really needs cable if you don’t mind viewing on something other than your television set? And soon enough, all these off-cable companies will be able to stream their material to your television. And I can access anything on my schedule and not on the cable’s and networks’ schedules.

          Then there’s the monthly fee for cable television. I now have Dish, but their fees are much the same as those of every other cable company. I pay just north of a hundred bucks a month for what they label as the Top 200, but when I examine which channels I actually watch, I need only nine in addition to the local networks (CBS, NBC, ABC, and Fox), and if I didn’t want the Golf Channel, I could go down to the Top 120 for a lot less money. Why can’t these cable companies let me choose only the channels I want and not charge me for that other hundred or two hundred I don’t want? To any of my television viewing readers, find your cable company brochure and see what plan you’re on. Then count the number of channels you actually watch. You’ll be amazed at how few you watch and how many you pay for that you don’t watch.

          What do I now watch on Dish? My favorite shows are Bull, NCIS, Madame Secretary, The Good Doctor, The Resident, 9-1-1, Blue Bloods, Better Call Saul, The Big Bang Theory, and Mom. Are there a few I wish I’d started watching from the beginning but for whatever reason didn’t? This Is Us, American Horror Story, Sopranos, Mad Men, Homeland, The Office, Parks and Recreation, 24, House, Veep, and Bones. Are there any series I’d like to watch again? Lost, The Americans, The Closer, West Wing, and Glee, to name only a few. Well, guess what—They’re all available on one or the other of the streaming companies.

          Excuse me. I have to go to Amazon Prime to watch more of my latest series, Sneaky Pete. And I can watch as many episodes as I want and watch them whenever I want.

Ford/Kavanaugh & November Mid-Terms

          The Ford/Kavanaugh debate goes on, but the FBI investigation may be over as soon as this afternoon. Then we may get some closure on this nasty story. Will he be confirmed? Probably, despite his demonstrating his partisanship under oath, a partisanship that goes against the concept of a non-partisan Supreme Court. And that thought leads me to another thought: Why are SCOTUS’s confirmed for a lifetime and not some more logical and reasonable amount of time? Why not ten years, or even twenty years? What happens when an aging justice starts losing memory and judgement to approaching dementia or Alzheimer’s? I’d like someone to answer that for me.

          We’re now only a month away from the November elections. It’s a date I’ve been looking forward to for a long time, actually about two years. In a nation wherein only about half of those eligible to vote do so, I want to see it grow to at least 67%. The more the merrier. I’m predicting that the numbers will noticeably rise in these voting groups: young people, Hispanics, African-Americans, women of all colors and creeds, and those who believe we need stricter gun laws. If I’m right, we may be able to get the buffoon out of the White House before 2020. His base, set in concrete like the foundation of a building, will remain and vote for him no matter what he does or says. What an appropriate name for his supporters, base. Base means support or foundation, but it can also suggest “having no moral principles,” just like The Donald himself. He has told his “base” that he could go down Fifth Avenue in New York and shoot and kill someone and he wouldn’t lose a vote. I can imagine a political cartoon: “Hey!” Donald shouts, looking down at his trousers. “My pants are on fire!” The man lies all the time and most of his lies are apparent to everyone but Sarah Huckabee Sanders, often even to himself. His supporters don’t care. That’s just his nature, they say. But do we really want a liar as our president? He cuts corners on his tax returns? "Oh," he says, "that just shows I’m smart." He keeps saying he’s a self-made billionaire, that he started with only a million dollar loan from his father, but there now seems to be evidence  that he got way more than a million from  good old dad, more like half a billion. And his supporters lap it up as a sign that he understands how to make money for himself and for the U.S. But will he show us his tax returns? No. But maybe, just maybe, the FBI will get them for the past three or four decades to see just exactly what corners he cut and how many of them are legal.

          Here’s a sign I think should be put up at every voting site: Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than originally expected, the polling facilities may not be able to handle the load all at once.  Therefore, Democrats are requested to vote on Tuesday, November 6, and Republicans on Wednesday, Nov. 7. Independents may vote on either day. Please pass this message along and help us make sure no one gets left out.

Wah! Weekend Sports

Today is even more a maudlin Monday than usual. It rained most of the night and the skies are gray and drizzly again this morning. More than maudlin, it’s also depressing. My main tv activity on weekends is to watch sports, and this weekend I had the 2018 Ryder Cup in France and the Cardinals versus their old nemesis, the Seattle Seahawks. Good. A chance to watch two victories, one in golf and one in football. But it was bad, so bad.

I watched all twenty-four hours of the Ryder Cup. What a depressing fiasco that was (unless you were from Europe, and then it was grand). Not only did the Euros outplay the Americans (especially when it came to putting), they also out-finessed them by setting up the course, Le Golf National, to be the most punitive in Ryder Cup history. “Let’s see now,” Bjorn and his vice captains must have said, “How can we take the power game away from the Americans? Oh, sure, we’ll just make the fairways so narrow they can’t hit ‘em and make the rough so deep and nasty they can’t get out with a machete. Then let’s slow the greens down because the Americans hate slow greens. Yeah, that should do it.” And it did. Oh, my, how it did, a 17½ to 10½ spanking. Of what I call the bombers on both sides, Americans Tony Finau and Justin Thomas came out alive, with Finau going 2-1-0, and Thomas 4-1-0. On the Euro side, bombers Rory McIlroy went 2-3-0 and John Rahm went 1-2-0. But on the America team, look what the long hitters did: Fowler 1-3-0, Johnson 1-4-0, Koepka 1-2-1, Mickelson 0-2-0, Watson, 1-2-0, and Tiger 0-4-0.  I believe that awful rough was responsible for most of those losses. After the first session of the Four Ball on Friday, the U.S. team took three of the four points, and they must have been smiling. But that was probably the last time in all three days that they had occasion to smile. I don’t think Tiger smiled even once in all three days. Maybe he did when he was introduced on the first tee on Friday, but it would have been only a tiny, no-teeth smile, and that was probably the last time. I hope I live long enough to see how it goes in Wisconsin in 2020. I think they should have the rough really short so the bombers could bang away with impunity, place bunkers all across the middle of all the fairway right at 290 yards so that the bombers can go over them and the shorter Euros have to lay up or go in them. And then get the greens stimping at 14. That should do it.

I keep thinking the Cardinals can’t be as bad as they looked in the first three games. And they didn’t on Sunday. They actually looked like they could win a game. But they didn’t. They just didn’t look as bad in losing as they did in losing their first three games. Josh Rosen looks like he can be very good if only receivers catch what he delivers . . . which they didn’t. Even sure-handed Larry Fitzgerald dropped two he would ordinarily catch. Then there are those questionable late-in-the-game calls from the sidelines, with just under three minutes left and the score tied 17-17. Cardinals’ ball, first-and-ten from about the Seahawks’ 35. What to do? What to do? Winning teams and winning coaches keep the drive alive and take it as far as they can: either score a touchdown or eat up almost all the clock. What did Coach Wilks do? He called three running plays up the middle that gained about six yards total. Then he sent in Dawson to kick a 45-yard field goal that, even if he made it, would still leave nearly two minutes in the game. He missed it. The Seahawks took over and moved the ball rather easily into long field goal range for Janikowski, who made it as time ran out. Final: Seahawks 20, Cardinals 17. See, winners move the ball and losers try to sit on it. How depressing. Oh, well, maybe next year.