Sexism

I’m living in a retirement community with about 30,000 residents, probably 25,000 of whom drive a car with the other 5,000 now too old to drive. But you know old folks. Even at ninety they’d say they’re perfectly capable of driving even when they’re not. I remember a story I heard almost twenty or thirty years ago about the couple living here who’d go to the grocery store, the husband driving because the wife never learned how to drive. Only, he’s blind as a bat. You guessed it. She would tell him how fast or slow he should go, when to stop, when to turn. And they did this for several years before they had a major fender-bender and the truth came out.

          Let’s just say I see a lot of oddball drivers doing odd ball things here in my retirement community. What I’m about to say may seem sexist, but just hear me out. Almost every time here when I see a car going twenty in a thirty-five mph zone, I just know it’s a woman. Or when a car ahead of me has brake lights flashing on and off for a full hundred yards before a green stop light, afraid it will go yellow any second now, I just know it’s a woman. Or when the car ahead of me at a stop light is waiting to make a right turn .  . . and waiting . . . and waiting, even though there’s no traffic coming from the left, I just know it’s a woman. And I’m almost always right. Does that make me a sexist? Am I suggesting that men are better drivers than women? No. I’m talking about elderly women who were taught to drive by fathers who probably made them feel like they shouldn’t drive as aggressively as their brothers because women aren’t strong enough or athletic enough to drive safely and that they need to drive defensively. It’s the old nature/nurture argument. Are women genetically more fearful than men or are they brought up to feel that way? My generation of women grew up in a strongly patriarchal time, with fathers who, despite loving them, may have belittled them, telling them that they might be too emotional and easily frightened to ever be good drivers. That’s sexism. My view isn’t sexist; it’s environmentalist. Women for the past sixty or seventy years have fought the good fight to give men the lie. Although there is a difference between men and women in size and strength, in every sport where size and strength don’t matter, women can compete with men. In every job where dexterity and mental acuity are needed, women and men are even. In driving skills today, all women and men are equal. In politics today, all women and men are equal. But some women are more equal than others.

          And tomorrow, I’ll tackle racism.