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My books can be purchased as e-books for only $1.99. If interested, just click here: Books.
Match Play is a golf/suspense novel. Dust of Autumn is a bloody one set in upstate New York. Prairie View is set in South Dakota, with a final scene atop Rattlesnake Butte. Life in the Arbor is a children's book about Rollie Rabbit and his friends (on about a fourth grade level). The Black Widow involves an elaborate extortion scheme. Doggy-Dog World is my memoir. And ES3 is a description of my method for examining English sentence structure.
In case anyone is interested in any of my past posts, an archive list can be found at the bottom of this page.
My newest novel, Happy Valley, can be found here.

Sunday, October 27

"If it ain't broke"

I wrote the following in 1986, when I first began keeping a journal, and it seems to be worth passing along even nearly three decades later.

“Words to Live By”
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
If you can’t fix it, don’t break it.
If you don’t break it, use it.
If you can’t use it, lose it.
If you can’t lose it, fake it.
If you can’t fake it, fuck it.
If you can’t fuck it, break it.
But if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

For some weird reason, I dreamed most of the above. I was teaching a class and it seemed important to get the words right, and they were coming out right. When I woke up they were still there, so I wrote them down just as you see them. I’m pretty sure the expression “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” is current and someone somewhere said it or sang it, but I don’t remember ever having heard it. And what follows that first line is original with me (I think).

And now, twenty-seven years later, I went on-line to find the origination of the phrase, and discovered this:

This one is widely attributed to T. Bert (Thomas Bertram) Lance, the Director of the Office of Management and Budget in Jimmy Carter's 1977 administration. Bert Lance believes he can save Uncle Sam billions if he can get the government to adopt a simple motto: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." He explains: "That's the trouble with government: Fixing things that aren't broken and not fixing things that are broken."

And our government is still trying to fix things and is, instead, breaking them.

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