Punny Names

It’s been in only the last several decades that “OCD” became in vogue. We’ve always known about those who seemed a bit strange in their behavior, but we just called them odd. I mention this because in a number of ways I’m compulsive but not necessarily obsessive. How do these two words differ? I went to the Net for the answer. “Obsessive” relates to the mind or thought, and “compulsive” relates to action. An obsession is an unrealistic fixation with someone or something (often resulting in stalking), or a fear of something to an unnatural degree—fear of germs, the dark, unlocked doors, etc. These fears become obsessive when we compulsively act to allay them. Cinematically, maybe the best example of this was Jack Nicholson in the 1997 As Good As It Gets. In real life, Nicholson has always struck me as strange, but in this film he was really strange until Helen Hunt came along and pulled him up and away from his obsessions. Compulsive behavior can result in constant washing of the hands, or using shirt sleeves to open doors for fear of what may be on the doorknob, or avoiding handshakes or hugs or (oh, yuck!) French kisses.

          All right, now I have the ground rules established: I’m compulsive but not obsessive. And here’s my latest compulsion, something I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, but here it is again in all its compulsive glory—an alphabetized list of all the punny names I’ve come up with over the years. I think my collecting them and now alphabetizing them is the compulsion. Some of these names are better than others, more clever and surprising. Some are pretty obvious and less clever or surprising. Of all of them, though, my favorite is the romantic couple William Aramy and, in this age of same-sex marriage, his long-time partner Hugh Bettcha.

          If anyone knows of a punny name not on my list, please let me know and I’ll compulsively add it to my list.

Funny Punny Names

A –

Adam Uppen (or, on his IRS form, Uppen, Adam

Al Abord

Al Bearound

Al Besinya

Al Fabeticle

Allen Gudthyme

Allison Vanderlind

Al O’Peeshia

Al Packa

Althea Thune

Al Titude

Al Truism

Al Wayz

Amber Griss

Amber Wayvagrane

Anita Favour

Anita Hand

Anita Schauer

Annette Prophet

Annette Score

Annie Rexia

Artie Choke

Artie Facks

Art O’Fischel

Art Sore

Auntie Dote

Auntie Klymax

Auntie McKasser

Auntie Pasto

B –

Barbara Savill

Barry D’Attchette (a peacemaker)

Bea Keller (or, on her IRS form, Keller, Bea)

Bea Kownted (friends with Stan Dupp)

Ben Dare (long time companion of Don Datt)

 Ben Dover

Bess Amay (who married someone named Mucho)

Bette Nowarr

Betty Euthanme

Betty Kahn

Betty Kahnt (answers to Kenny Duit)

Betty O’ass

Betty O’Bippy

Bill Eamick

Billy Button

Billy Aards (or Billy Yards)

Billy Danser

Billy Dew

Bob Enweeve

Brandon Kattle

C –

Candy Labra

Carlotta Bawls

Carmen Geddit

Carol Ittle

Carol Ott

Carol Singers

Cary Mebach

Celia Laiter

Celia Lipps

Char Donay

Char LaMain

Cherry Pitts

Chuck Stake

Chuck Upp (or on his IRS form, Upp, Chuck)

Clara Zahbel

Claire Voyant

Claude Bawls (the animal trainer, specializing in big cats, brother of

     Harry Bawls)

Claude Tuhbitts

Cliff Dweller

Cliff Hanger

Clyde Eskope

Clyde Sedale

Coco Vann

Curtis E. Kerr

D –

Dan Druff

Daisy Chain

Derry Goze (pal of Harry Kumz)

A whole bunch of Duits

    Kenny Duit

    Willie Duit

    Deedee Duit  (all three related to I. Darren Duit)

    Dewey Duit

    Shelley Duit

    Cheryl Duit

    Woody Duit

    Howdy Duit

    Wendy Duit

    May I. Duit

    I. Darren Duit (a man who could never get married)

Dick Hedd

Dick Tater

Don Chuduit

Don Datt (long-time pal of Ben Dare)

Donny Lukalyve (see Izzie Dedd)

Donny Luknyss

Don Wenaur (friends with Gay Apparell)

Doug Ahdich

Doug Graves (married to Flora Liven)

Duane N. Spayn

Duane Fawdaun

Duncan Donutz

E –

Eben Flo

Ed Strong

Eileen Dover

Emma Hand (Can you guess her maiden name? That’s right, Nolkau)

Emma Bea Leaver

Emma Fein

Emma Fielbadd

Esther Leif-Atterdett

Etta Tumutch

F –

Faye Ling (An Oriental hooker with a penchant  for doing everything

    “wong.”  She screws up when she should be screwing sideways.)

Fess Upp

Frank Lee Muhdeer (starred in Gone with the Wind)

Frank Ensense

Frank O’File

Freddie Katt

Fred O’Nuttin

Frieda Slaves

G –

Gideon Payle

Ginger Snapps

Ginger Vaitis

Gladys Seyew

Grace Noates

H –

Hal Atosis

Hal Palp

Hal Zapoppin

Hank Avair

Hank R. Chief

Hank E. Panky

Hank O’Hare

Harvey Dariet

Hannah Dover

Hans Auff

Hans Down

Hans Upp

Harry Bawls

Harry Kumz (pal of Derry Goze)

Hazel Ayes

Hazel Nutt

Helen Highwater

Helena Hanbasket

Horace N. Bucky

Holly Hocks

Horace Poop

Howard Yew

Howie Duin

Howie Yew

Hubie Karefall

Hugh Bettcha

Hugo Tommy Hedd

Hugo Towell

Hume Adore

Hume Mormey

I –

Ida Noh

I. Darren Duit (a man who could never get married)

Isadora Jarr

Izzie Dedd

Izzie Dunne

Izzie Yewman

J –

Jack Auff

Jack Carr (or on his IRS, Carr, Jack)

Jack Swatt

Jack Pott

Jay Walker

Jerry Attricks

Jerry Boham

Jesse Kenn

Jimmy D’Loch

Jim Saachs

Jose Canusee

Judy Obscure

June Ezbustin

K –

Kenny Duit

Kerry Meebak

Kitten Caboodle

Kitty Litter

Kitty Wampus

Kurt C. Enbaugh

L –

Lance O’Boyle

Lee Mialone

Lily Livered

Lisa House 

Lisa Kerr

Les Tawk (Mo Ackshun)

Les Phalinluv

Les Sizzmor

Les Dans

Les Pardy

Lem Megoe

Lola Palooza

Lou Scannin

Lucy Bowells

Lucy Goosie

Luigi Bored

Luke Warm

M –

Mac O’Damia

Mac O’Ronee

Mal Adroit

Malcom Tent (or Mal Content)

Mal Feezents

Mal O’dure

Mandy Laiphbotz

Manny O’Tier (married Esther Fawl)

Matt Reside

Mark Ettvalyew

Mark Myward

Marty Nee

Marty Pantz

Matt Attchou

Marv Illus

Maude Lynn

Maxie Mumm

Maxie Padd

Max Stout

Meryl Lee Werolalong

Mike Rochip

Mike Rowkasm

Minnie Mumm

Miss Bea Hayving

Molly Coddle

N –

Natalie Attired

Nick O’Thyme

Nick O’Teen

Nina Forty (or on her IRS Form, Forty, Nina)

Noah Kant

Noah Notting

O –

O. Howie Danst

Olav Mihtender

Olive Apperaid

Olive Branche

Olive Oyl

Oliver Klozov

Oliver Sudden

Opal Eeze

Ophelia Draft

Otto Graff

Otto Kratik

Otto Matik

Otto Mayshun

P –

Pat M. Down

Pat M. Upp

Pat Reside

Patsy Fazool

Patty Dew

Patty Trayned

Paul Bearer

Pete O’File

Phil Armonick

Phil Issity

Phyllis Stations

Phyllis Steen

Phil O’Dendrun

Polly Esther

Q – 

Quentin Sam (or on his IRS form, Sam, Quentin)

R –

Ray Zerbach

Ray Zerscharp

Rick Oop (an insurance adjuster)

Rick O’Shay

Rick Rac

Rick Tangle

Ricky Tony

Rob D’Kraydel

Rhoda Dendrun

Roger Oubernoudt

Roy Altee

Russell Mania

Russell O’Leevs

Ruth Less

 S –

Sally Forth

Sally Mander

Sal Monella

Sal Utashins

Sam Perfidaylis

Sandra Packy (or on her IRS form, Packy, Sandra)

Sandy Beeches

Sarah Bonna (or on her IRS form, Bonna, Sarah)

Saul R. Eaklips

Señor Moment

Sharon Cheralyke

Shirley Yugest

Stan Dout

Stan Bimee

Stan Dupp

Stan Doffish

Stella D’Knight

Sunny Beech

Sunny Skyze

Swen Golly

T –

Tess Tickles

Tess Tosterone

Toby R. Notaby

Tom Boreen

Trudy Grapevine

Trudy Lukenclass

 U –

Upton O’Gude

V –

Vaughn Meetball

Vic Tumm (with a brother named Rick Tumm, who’s an asshole)

W –

Wade Inn

Wanda Ball (the nympho)

Warren Peese

Wendy Getthehr

Will Hubie Mein

William Aramy

Willie Duit

Willie Maykett

Will Paur

Wun Hung Lo

X –

Y –

Z –