My books can be purchased as e-books for only $1.99. If interested, just click here: Books.
Match Play is a golf/suspense novel. Dust of Autumn is a bloody one set in upstate New York. Prairie View is set in South Dakota, with a final scene atop Rattlesnake Butte. Life in the Arbor is a children's book about Rollie Rabbit and his friends (on about a fourth grade level). The Black Widow involves an elaborate extortion scheme. Doggy-Dog World is my memoir. And ES3 is a description of my method for examining English sentence structure.
In case anyone is interested in any of my past posts, an archive list can be found at the bottom of this page.
My newest novel, Happy Valley, can be found here.

Thursday, April 11

Dentistry & American Idol

I went to the Midwestern Dental School today for another of what seem like an endless series of dental appointments. But the price is very right and the two students who are assigned to me . . . or I to them, are very nice, Dan and Dave, two young men who will go far in dentistry. It’s been nearly a year since I first went to them to see what they could do with my awful bite. So now I’m in the process of having a full upper and partial lower made. I’m so looking forward to finally having a true bite again, because for that near year I’ve not had at all a satisfactory bite. I manage to get food down, but it’s easiest with soft stuff like mashed potatoes, chocolate shakes, soups, chocolate shakes, spaghetti without the meatballs, chocolate shakes. As you can probably see, if push came to shove, I could very easily live on chocolate shakes. While I was sitting in the lobby, waiting for Dan to come get me, I noticed a woman sitting across from me, her left leg crossed over her right, left leg vibrating at about a thousand beats a minute. I’m not sure how she was able to keep up that pace without any conscious effort. But it reminded me of something I’d read a long time ago, that women who unconsciously give their crossed leg the rock and roll treatment are actually unconsciously masturbating, just as women who love to horseback ride are less in love with the horse than with the saddle horn, and trotting is better than walking or galloping. Did I really read that or did I make that up? If it’s true, then a lot of ladies out there could verify it. If I made it up, then I must be a dirty old man.

I swore a few years ago that I would never, never, never again watch American Idol. And again this season I’m watching it. I have in the past ranted and raved against Nicki Minaj both as a singer and as a ridiculous person with that ridiculous makeup and hairstyle. But, lord help me, she makes a lot of sense in her comments about the performers and their performances, much more than Mariah Carey, who can only lapse into lengthy word searches, as she tries to out-comment Nicki. Of course, I still can’t stand Ryan Seacrest, and I still hate Randy Jackson’s “Yo, Dog.” But now that they’re down to the last six, it’s sort of interesting, especially with the five remaining women doing so well, especially Kree Harrison and Candice Glover. A sign that the voting is as much a popularity contest as a talent contest, Lazaro Arbos is still there, and he shouldn’t be. And even his most ardent supporters have to let him go after that pathetic performance last night. If he doesn’t go, then I swear I’ll never watch another A.I. ever again. I swear it. But I and most viewers can see Kree and Candice as the final two, with Kree probably winning it all.

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