Unemployment these days is no laughing matter, but I have to share this one.
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.”
The social worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2008 Mercedes CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid 20's and has a rather strong sex drive. A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo and bar located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year.”
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You're bullshittin' me!”
The social worker said, “Yeah, well, you started it.”
And while I'm at it, here's another that's old as the hills, but still funny and accurate.
How are a woman’s breasts like a martini? One’s not enough, and three are too many.
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