Sayings

Every winter, just before Christmas, we get several catalogues touting interesting items for potential Christmas gifts—sculpture, wall ornaments, rings, bracelets, T-shirts and sweatshirts. And the shirts both T and sweat have funny sayings on front or back. We can skip ordering anything because we’re old and we don’t need any more “stuff” in our lives, nor do our friends and relatives. In fact, a decade or two ago, we instructed our kids not to give us anything non-consumable; only things we can eat or drink. We’re both good little eaters and drinkers, and we’re no longer bothered by more stuff around the house. In this year’s Signals catalogue, I found a number of sayings which are keepers. For example:
“Old age comes at an inconvenient time.”
“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life—music and cats.”
“And thou shall have dominion over all the beasts . . . except, of course, for cats.”
“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.”
“I’m always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.”
“Facing your fears builds strength. But running from them makes for a great cardio workout.”
“Relish today—Ketchup tomorrow.”
“Irony—the opposite of wrinkly.”
“Catch a falling star . . . and you’re toast.”
“Statistics mean never having to say you’re certain.”
“History Buff: I’d find you more interesting if you were dead.”
“Resistance is not futile. It’s voltage divided by current.”
“I cannot prevent the Birds of Sorrow from passing over my head, but I can keep them from building a nest in my hair.”
“Writer’s Block: When your imaginary friends won’t talk to you.”
“Even if it’s crap, get it on the page.”

I know, I know, this last one is probably too relevant to my writing. But at least it’s on the page.