Zero Dark Thirty & Two Jokes

I hate to sound like the little boy who cried wolf. Some might think I’m too effusive about films I’ve seen. But, okay, here I go again. I just saw the most powerful movie I’ve ever seen. The only word I could think of when I left the theater was “powerful.” Or maybe it was the most powerful I remember. At my age my memory may be suspect. I’m talking about Zero Dark Thirty. I think it’s close to a shoo-in for best picture, even though all the critics are backing Lincoln, even though there is controversy about the film’s depiction of coercive interrogation techniques, more bluntly called torture. I also think Jessica Chastain is a shoo-in for best actress. Any critics who would include the young girl in Beasts of the Southern Wild as a nominee for best actress should have their critic badges ripped from them. Quvenzhane Wallis was a cutie pie, but what she did could hardly be called acting. Jessica Chastain was acting, and acting well enough to win an Oscar.

Zero Dark Thirty begins with a darkened screen, the only story movement the bits of phone conversations during the 9/11 attack on the Twin Towers. After a minute of this, the opening scene follows Maya (Jessica Chastain), a young CIA interrogator, as she is introduced to the offensively ugly coercive interrogation techniques we were using early in this century—water boarding, sleep deprivation, physical beating. Most Americans would rather not admit that these black holes, interrogation sites, even existed, nor that the U.S. would resort to such inhumane tactics. Through Maya, the story traces the eleven years from 9/11 to the night raid on Bin Laden’s hideaway fortress in Pakistan. And even though we all know the outcome, the tension builds to an amazing level. I felt like I had a seat next to President Obama and Hillary Clinton in the War Room. I shared with them the suspense of this very risky move and the awe at our having pulled it off successfully. Yeah, it should be a shoo-in for best movie and actress and who knows how many other categories.

Here are two jokes about oldies you may not have seen. Thanks, Larry.

An old fella was celebrating 92 years on this earth. He spoke to his toes. "Hello, toes," he said. "How are you? You know, you're 92 today. Oh the times we've had! Remember how we walked in the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon, the times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday, toes!"
"Hello, knees.", he continued. "How are you? You know you're 92 today. Oh, the times we've had! Remember when we marched in the parade, all the hurdles we've jumped together? Happy Birthday, knees."
Then, he looked down at his crotch. "Hello,Willie, you little bugger. Just think.
If you were alive today, you'd be 92."

An elderly couple in their 70's were about to get married.
She said: I want to keep my house.
He said: That's fine with me.
She said: I want to keep my Cadillac.
He said: That's fine with me.
She said: I want to have sex six times a week.
He said: Put me down for Fridays.